You're not paranoid if they really ARE out to get you!

Alan did it again. Such creative writing with wonderful wit and humor. Read this story to find out how he invites Tom over for Thanksgiving. It took me a minute before I realized just who he was talking to but then I got it. LOL. Beer basted Turkey. Haven't tried that one before. Thanks Alan. Loved it!

"They're out to get me!" he said, eyes darting back and forth.

      "They're not out to get you, Tom!  You're so paranoid!"  I answered.

"I can feel it, they're trying to kill me." he ducked down behind his desk, shivering.

     "Oh, you've been saying that for weeks.  C'mon you sound silly, now."

"You don't know... you can't feel it. It's gotten worse lately,  They're out to get me, I see their looks.  Watching me, everywhere I go, their hungry eyes staring at me."

     "Oh, I'm sure you're imagining things."

"No!  No, I'm not.  There are wanted posters with my picture on them hanging at the local grocery stores.  I've even seen spots on television, with my photos.  I'm tellin' ya, they're trying to kill me."

     "Calm down!  You need to relax... I know, are you doing anything for Thanksgiving yet?"

"um.... no, not yet."

     "Why don't you come to our house for Thanksgiving?"

"well... uh, I don't know..."

     "Amy's makin' all the fixins... you know... mashed potatoes & gravy, stuffing, cranberry sauce, sweet potato pie, pumpkin pie.. the works... I'm sure she'd love to have you for Thanksgiving dinner."

"er... okay, that sounds nice."

     "Why don't you stop by early?" I asked gingerly... "I want to show you my new sauna.  It's a "convection" sauna, we'll have some beers."

"Uh, sure... What time would you like me to stop by?"

     "Oh... let's see... how much do you weigh?"


     "oh, nothing, nothing... let's see... how about if you stop by about 5 hours early..."

"Five Hours!?"

     "It's a really nice sauna... I want you to have time to baste.... er... I mean relax and have a few beers."

"..uh, allright... see you at noon on Thursday"..

      "That sounds delicious"...


     "Nice!  I meant nice!  You're so paranoid!"

ALAN MAY, Realtor®
Specializing in Evanston Real Estate and North Shore Real Estate

Coldwell Banker Residential Real Estate, 2929 Central Street, Evanston, IL 60201
847.425.3779      Cell: 847.924.3313      Email:

Evanston Real Estate & North Shore Real Estate


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Comment balloon 2 commentsBobbie Smith • November 22 2011 05:26PM


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